


jelly bean

by KiraYoshikage



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Allusions to Drug Abuse, Allusions to Violence, Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 15:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraYoshikage/pseuds/KiraYoshikage
Summary: on being a cherry jelly bean, lost and forgotten on the floor of a candy shop





	jelly bean

Ryuji stared at the ceiling of his room as he lay on his bed. The lights were off; the hour, late. Quiet. Dark.

The mess in his room seemed to slowly constrict on him, as it always seemed to do at this hour, even though all of it continue to lay as unmoving as he was.

He should be doing homework. Studying. Reading manga. Playing a game. Watching stupid videos on Youtube. Doing anything at all. He's in the prime of his youth. Once it's gone, it's gone.

But instead, he continued to lay flat, hands clasped over his chest, pushing out against the darkness looming overtop him.

He tries to think of the things that make him happy, but through the miasma they only appear far and out of his reach.

His friends. The Thieves. Surely if he just…

Ryuji's hand shot out to his phone on the floor, but stopped midway, hesitating, then moving back to its original place overtop his heart.

Something was bugging him, lately. About the Thieves. None of them had been cruel to him...but Ryuji felt as though he were now sitting out of place, not worth talking to, not worth being seen with…

He went over them one by one in his head. Surely there was at least SOMEone he could talk to…

Ann...Sure, she'd been friends with Ryuji since middle school, and never seemed uppity because of it, but the fact remained that she was a model. An international model, at that. Her career hadn't quite picked up yet, but still, given how good Ann looked, Ryuji couldn't imagine it would take long for the world to notice.

Yusuke...An artist. In fact, not just an artist but An Artist. With his art in like, museums, and exhibits, and things like that. He was in a rut for now, but his talent and dedication ensured that a bright future was inevitable, far off as it may be.

Makoto...Miss Student Council President. Older sister, formerly a high-ranking prosecutor, now a low-ranking-but-promising defense attorney. Grades at the top of the class, even through the Kaneshiro incident. Her future was uncertain briefly, but now she's got an idea of where to go...A policewoman. For some reason. And there was no chance she wouldn't get there.

Futaba...A shut-in, hyperactive to a fault, unaware of the world around her...But her programming skills were honed to a point after her years of isolation. And not only that, but she was starting to really get past her social anxieties, too. And in such a short time. She was blossoming so quickly into a bright, cheery girl that was just waiting for the world to accept her into their folds.

Haru...heiress to her father's fortunes. Of course she has something to look forward to. Whether she takes command of Okumura Foods or leaves it to the highest bidder, she was set for life. She wouldn't have to worry about a thing once she found the groove she wanted to settle into.

And, of course, Akira...Amongst a team of special people destined for greatness, Akira shone the brightest. His ability to move and change and apply himself to anything was so uncanny and yet so natural to watch meant that wherever Akira went, he would perfect it. Become top of the food chain within months, no matter which chain he chose. Even cleared of his criminal record, so the possibilities really were endless.

And then there was him. Ryuji Sakamoto.

Former track star with a bum leg thanks to the very specific breaks put into it by a certain gym teacher.

And that was it.

What did he have to offer? What could he offer to anyone? The most impressive thing he had done during his time with the Thieves was when he almost died, and then afterwards he was thanked by getting the shit beat out of him.

Even in this group intended for the outcasts of the world, Ryuji was still a complete outcast.

The dark in front of his eyes seemed to grow deeper. He wasn't sure if it was just because of the time or that he had closed his eyes without noticing.

In that dark, images danced; visions of his friends chastising him for crude behavior, of Morgana expressing distrust in every aspect of Ryuji's person, of Kamoshida's face contorted in blind fury and strained with effort as he grabbed Ryuji's ankle and stomped down on his thigh. Of Kamoshida pulling his ankle up, and up, and pressing his sneaker-clad shoe down, and down, and down until a sickening crack filled the air.

Then another. And another. A wet tear as the bone wrenched free from muscle tissue. Then, melting...back into…the darkness.

Ryuji touched his thigh as a dull ache began to pound through it, as it sometimes did when the weather was humid. He reached his hand over to the nightstand by his desk and grabbed a bottle of the "medicine" that Takemi had prescribed him. She had said to be careful with it. Ryuji made sure to be. He was thankful for something to make the pain go away; to let the darkness be replaced by flashes of dreams, impossible vignettes that now were more distractions than wishes for a future.

He took two pills. Swallowed. Closed his eyes. And blessedly, quickly, the pain went away and the dreams did come.

\---

The morning came and Ryuji awoke. Same blank ceiling. Same messy room. His phone was buzzing; he groped for it and picked it up.

"Yeah?" Ryuji asked, his voice cracking under the strain of waking up.

"Hey, it's me," Akira said. "Want to go see a movie today? They're showing Like A Dragon again."

"Ah, yeah! Sure," Ryuji said, sitting up. "Meet you there around noon?"

"Sounds great," Akira said. "See you soon."

"Bye," Ryuji said, hanging up the phone.

He rolled out of his bed and put on clothes that he thought were clean enough. Brushed his teeth. Combed his hair.

Ryuji walked downstairs and opened the front door to his house. The sun shone in, searing the darkness nipping at his heels. That was fine. All of this was fine. He was fine. He was in the prime of his youth, after all. And at least while he was out of the house, he could keep moving, for just a little longer.

Until the mess finally closed in on him, trapping him under its weight. Until the dark couldn't be beat back by dreams, until the pain in his leg couldn't be quelled with a couple mystery pills.

For now, he could keep moving.

And that's okay.


End file.
